Describing Freddie Shepherd
The best quote I have seen regarding the Bowyer - Dyer bust up came from a SMB member, whose name eludes me, when he described the onlooking Freddie Shepherd's expression as :-
"Like a warthog licking piss off a nettle"
An absolute classical quote and a one that only a bard could have dreamed up.
posted by Huyton Hoofer @ 7:09 AM
3 comments
3 Comments:
THE WARTHOG SONG
The Mags were giving a party
A post hibernation ball
The Ballroom was crowded with waltzing Geordies, Gays and Transvestites and all.
But who is that animal almost in tears
Pretending to powder his nose?
A poor little Warthog who sits by himself
In black and white satin with blue bows.
Again he is no-body's choice and he sings in a sad little voice:
”No one ever wants to fight a Warthog
Though a Warthog does his best
I've spent a lot of money for a Warthog
I am angry and pretty pissed
I've lost all my hair
I'm perfumed here and there
My gums were tinted when I brushed my teeth
I'm old and not in my prime
But a Geordie all the time
'Cos I'm a Geordie Warthog
Just a Geordie Warthog
I'm a Geordie Fighting Warthog underneath”
Take your partners for a pitch fight Excuse me!
Excited and radiant he runs on the floor
To join the furore and fuss.
He taps on Bowyer’s shoulder and says 'Excuse me!'
and Bowyer replied 'Fuck you!'
Then having no manners at all
They fight as they dance round John Hall
'No one ever wants to fight a Warthog
Though a Warthog does his best
His fighting is dazzling for a Warthog
He is perfumed and daringly pissed
We know he wishes he could fuck stars like Marilyn Monroe's
His cock covered with a scintillating sheath
But he somehow fails to please
'Cos everybody sees he's a Geordie Warthog
Just a Bastard Geordie Warthog
He's a Scum Warthog underneath'
Head banging he wanders away from the floor
This Geordie Warthog whom nobody loves
Then stops in amazement
For there at the door stands a Kieran Dyer impeccably dressed
In the act of removing his gloves.
His fine chiselled face seems to frown
As he looks first up then down
I fancy you must be a sort of Fighting Geordie Warthog
Though for a Geordie Warthog you look a mess
Your fighting weight is far to heavy for a Geordie Warthog
You could have chosen a more suitable opponent
Did you have to dye your hair?
If that's Bowyer give me air!
I strongly disapprove of pitch fights
But let us take the floor 'Cos I'm absolutely sure
That you're not a Geordie Warthog
Just a Fighting Warthog
The meanest little, stupid little
Dearest and ugliest little Fighting Warthog underneath.
Original version by Flanders & Swann new version by Jim Gilling
They are only human, with the same weaknesses and strengths as anyone else. They are more about being mischievous than than any real nastiness."
ref ; Shepherd F.
"We felt Graeme was the right guy to get it put back on the right lines. It is a more disciplined atmosphere here compared to Bob's regime. Players know who is the boss now and I think that is very important."
Ref:- Shepherd F. Daily Mirror.
Tell that to Bellamy, Bowyer and Dyer.
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