A Sort of Homecoming
The Irish daughter had not been to the house for over 5 years.Upon her return, her father cussed her;
" Where have you been all thistime, you ingrate! Why didn't you write us, not even a line to let usknow how you were doing? Why didn't you call? You little tramp! Don't youknow what you put your Mum through??!!"
The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff... Dad... I became a prostitute..."
"WHAT!!? Out of here, you shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family - I don't ever want to see you again!"
"OK, Dad - as you wish. I just came back to give Mom this luxury furcoat, title deeds to a ten bed-roomed mansion, plus a savings accountcertificate for £5 million. For my little brother, this gold Rolex, and for youDaddy the spanking new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside, plus a lifetime membership to the Country Club...(takes a breath) . . an invitation for you all to spend New Years' Eve on board my newyacht in the Riviera, and . .
." "Now what was it you said you had become?"
Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff... A prostitute Dad! ... Sniff, sniff"
"Oh! Be Jesus! -- you scared me half to death, girl!
I thought you said" a Protestant."
Come here and give your old man a hug!
posted by Huyton Hoofer @ 12:37 AM
2 comments
2 Comments:
Sweet Mother of Jesus, me past has caught up on me, I was with this poor young filly back in 1976 it was a fiver then and a good f**k. Nice to see she's gone on to better tings.
Snow White was out in the forest picking fruit when she heard a huge
explosion, a thick pall of smoke began to rise above the trees.
"Oh my god" she thought, "the dwarfs have been messing around with dynamite again and blown up the cottage".
She ran back through the trees to find the cottage in ruins.
She began digging through the rubble.
"Sleepy, Doc, where are you?" she cried.
Suddenly she heard a faint voice.
"Newcastle for the cup" the voice whispered.
"Oh Thank God" sighed Snow White,
"At least Dopey is still alive"
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