We're on our way
After warnings from Jimmy that I had better not be late (!) I pulled up outside the Gilligan residence at a couple of minutes past 7, expecting to find him waiting on the doorstep. However, much to my surprise, the house was in darkness and no sign of Jimmy. As I got out of the car to find out what was happening the front door opened to reveal a dis-shevelled figure in the doorway. At first I didn’t recognise who it was and thought I’d gone to the wrong house but then the apparition croaked “I’ll be out in a couple of minutes Brian, slept in” and I realised it was Jimmy. What a shock, seeing him ‘without his make up’ and in such an obviously ‘distressed’ condition. What ever could have happened? As I waited in the car all sorts of thoughts rushed through my head and as I sat there I could see lots of activity in the Gilling household with Jimmy up and down the stairs and Linda, still in her dressing gown, not far behind. Surely they weren't popping upstairs for a quickie? Hold on, was that not a broomstick she had in her grasp? Surely she couldn’t be beating Jimmy with it to get him to hurry along? A few minutes later all was revealed when Jimmy shot out of the door and staggered to the car. No sign of Linda at the doorstep waving a fond farewell so maybe all was not well in the Gilligan household? As he got into the car Jimmy announced that he’d been out drinking on the Friday night in Kella, in the Lamp and the Greyhound, with the future son-in-law and was feeling a bit worse for wear. As we pulled away he said, between moans and groans, that he hadn’t got to bed till gone 3 o’clock. Jimmy also seemed very worried that he hadn’t combed his hair that morning. Don’t know what he was worried about as it looked much the same as usual but Jimmy mentioned this several times on the way to Kelloe. Perhaps what he meant was that he hadn’t had time to put that sprayey-on stuff onto his crown - they reckon it works wonders and is better than a George Reynolds backcomb! When we got to Kelloe Butch and Kenny were playing hell with Jimmy for being late and called him, amongst other things, a Coxha puff - the Kella lads seem to have a big thing about transport being on time apparently!
As we passed the Catholic Church in Coxhoe I wondered if we should maybe drop Jimmy off for the last rites as he had a deathly look about him but he said he’d be ok plus Butch and Kenny wouldn’t hear of it under any circumstances. This was not because they were sympathetic, just the opposite in fact, they said they were looking forward to tormenting Jimmy for the rest of the day! We sped towards Durham and got to the station in time to catch the train. During the journey Jimmy gave us some details of the previous evening, including his future son-in law being sick in the back on Linda’s new car – not a good way to impress the new in-laws. All Butch could say was that the dog’s would have a good time licking it up! Anyway, we soon found our seats and got settled on the train. Jimmy perked up a little bit and launched into a couple of chorus's of "There were 10 German bombers ..... etc" but as no one else was joining in he soon lapsed into a semi-comatose state, despite Butch’s offers of food and beer, and was like that most of the way to London. The journey to Kings Cross was uneventful and we got there just after 11 o’clock.
In the smoke
We’d arranged to meet up with Abbsy, Tommy and their mates so we found a taxi and headed for the Cock pub, just outside the Highbury and Islington tube station. When we got in the pub all the lads were already there and soon after we were joined by Thirla who had come up from Poole for the day. Jimmy seemed to have perked up at this stage and was soon chatting to the barmaids and lending a black lady his mobile. However this was to be Jimmy’s ‘high point’ of the day and it was to be all downhill from here. We had some good crack with Thirla and Abbsy then moved to another pub called the Hen and Chickens. Jimmy seemed to be flagging and could only manage some half hearted quips to the lass behind the bar but when he was rebuffed he quickly shut up. This was not Jimmy at all – usually he’s a persistent pest and it takes a crack on the jaw to shut him up but this time he was very subdued. The lads broke up into different groups and we went our separate ways. Jimmy and I ended up in the Highbury Barn pub where we had a pint and a bit crack with some Arsenal supporters. We then had some fish and chips and set off for the match.
At the match
Other seasons we’ve been seated behind the goal but this time we were seated in the corner and the view was pathetic. Someone said it was like watching the game on a widescreen tv except that if the ball went above head height you couldn’t see it due to the low roof. The sooner Arsenal move to the new stadium the better as the facilities at Highbury are atrocious. The game seemed to pass by quickly with Butch and Kenny leaving at half time to go to the Flying Scotsman to see the strippers. Not bad judges as we were well outclassed and were never going to get anything out of the game. At end of the game we said goodbye to Thirla then made our way to the tube and back to Kings Cross.
Homeward bound
When we got back to the station we saw Clive and his mob but once again Jimmy was strangely subdued. Usually he’s slavering around Christine and Mary but this time he was very quiet and just went off to get some bait for the journey home. After a while they announced the train and we found our seats and settled down for the journey home. Once again Jimmy adopted the semi-comatose position and refused all offers of beer from Butch and Kenny. Amazed at this refusal (anyone who has been on an away trip with Jimmy knows he is usually the ‘life and soul of the party’ on the way back) Butch started to theorise on reasons why Jimmy was ‘keeping himself right’. Was it because he was still fatigued from the previous night’s heavy drinking session or was there another reason? Butch reckons that Jimmy was ‘under orders’ not to come in pissed to Coxhoe club. Apparently our hero has sometimes come back from an away game in a high state of inebriation and caused havoc in the club by berating one and all. Rumour has it that Mrs G and the other members of the company have made it plain that it mustn’t happen again as it was spoiling the night and Jimmy had been given a ‘final warning’. I’ll leave you to draw your own conclusion but it’s a fact that Jimmy was very quiet and didn’t have a drink on the way home.
After warnings from Jimmy that I had better not be late (!) I pulled up outside the Gilligan residence at a couple of minutes past 7, expecting to find him waiting on the doorstep. However, much to my surprise, the house was in darkness and no sign of Jimmy. As I got out of the car to find out what was happening the front door opened to reveal a dis-shevelled figure in the doorway. At first I didn’t recognise who it was and thought I’d gone to the wrong house but then the apparition croaked “I’ll be out in a couple of minutes Brian, slept in” and I realised it was Jimmy. What a shock, seeing him ‘without his make up’ and in such an obviously ‘distressed’ condition. What ever could have happened? As I waited in the car all sorts of thoughts rushed through my head and as I sat there I could see lots of activity in the Gilling household with Jimmy up and down the stairs and Linda, still in her dressing gown, not far behind. Surely they weren't popping upstairs for a quickie? Hold on, was that not a broomstick she had in her grasp? Surely she couldn’t be beating Jimmy with it to get him to hurry along? A few minutes later all was revealed when Jimmy shot out of the door and staggered to the car. No sign of Linda at the doorstep waving a fond farewell so maybe all was not well in the Gilligan household? As he got into the car Jimmy announced that he’d been out drinking on the Friday night in Kella, in the Lamp and the Greyhound, with the future son-in-law and was feeling a bit worse for wear. As we pulled away he said, between moans and groans, that he hadn’t got to bed till gone 3 o’clock. Jimmy also seemed very worried that he hadn’t combed his hair that morning. Don’t know what he was worried about as it looked much the same as usual but Jimmy mentioned this several times on the way to Kelloe. Perhaps what he meant was that he hadn’t had time to put that sprayey-on stuff onto his crown - they reckon it works wonders and is better than a George Reynolds backcomb! When we got to Kelloe Butch and Kenny were playing hell with Jimmy for being late and called him, amongst other things, a Coxha puff - the Kella lads seem to have a big thing about transport being on time apparently!
As we passed the Catholic Church in Coxhoe I wondered if we should maybe drop Jimmy off for the last rites as he had a deathly look about him but he said he’d be ok plus Butch and Kenny wouldn’t hear of it under any circumstances. This was not because they were sympathetic, just the opposite in fact, they said they were looking forward to tormenting Jimmy for the rest of the day! We sped towards Durham and got to the station in time to catch the train. During the journey Jimmy gave us some details of the previous evening, including his future son-in law being sick in the back on Linda’s new car – not a good way to impress the new in-laws. All Butch could say was that the dog’s would have a good time licking it up! Anyway, we soon found our seats and got settled on the train. Jimmy perked up a little bit and launched into a couple of chorus's of "There were 10 German bombers ..... etc" but as no one else was joining in he soon lapsed into a semi-comatose state, despite Butch’s offers of food and beer, and was like that most of the way to London. The journey to Kings Cross was uneventful and we got there just after 11 o’clock.
In the smoke
We’d arranged to meet up with Abbsy, Tommy and their mates so we found a taxi and headed for the Cock pub, just outside the Highbury and Islington tube station. When we got in the pub all the lads were already there and soon after we were joined by Thirla who had come up from Poole for the day. Jimmy seemed to have perked up at this stage and was soon chatting to the barmaids and lending a black lady his mobile. However this was to be Jimmy’s ‘high point’ of the day and it was to be all downhill from here. We had some good crack with Thirla and Abbsy then moved to another pub called the Hen and Chickens. Jimmy seemed to be flagging and could only manage some half hearted quips to the lass behind the bar but when he was rebuffed he quickly shut up. This was not Jimmy at all – usually he’s a persistent pest and it takes a crack on the jaw to shut him up but this time he was very subdued. The lads broke up into different groups and we went our separate ways. Jimmy and I ended up in the Highbury Barn pub where we had a pint and a bit crack with some Arsenal supporters. We then had some fish and chips and set off for the match.
At the match
Other seasons we’ve been seated behind the goal but this time we were seated in the corner and the view was pathetic. Someone said it was like watching the game on a widescreen tv except that if the ball went above head height you couldn’t see it due to the low roof. The sooner Arsenal move to the new stadium the better as the facilities at Highbury are atrocious. The game seemed to pass by quickly with Butch and Kenny leaving at half time to go to the Flying Scotsman to see the strippers. Not bad judges as we were well outclassed and were never going to get anything out of the game. At end of the game we said goodbye to Thirla then made our way to the tube and back to Kings Cross.
Homeward bound
When we got back to the station we saw Clive and his mob but once again Jimmy was strangely subdued. Usually he’s slavering around Christine and Mary but this time he was very quiet and just went off to get some bait for the journey home. After a while they announced the train and we found our seats and settled down for the journey home. Once again Jimmy adopted the semi-comatose position and refused all offers of beer from Butch and Kenny. Amazed at this refusal (anyone who has been on an away trip with Jimmy knows he is usually the ‘life and soul of the party’ on the way back) Butch started to theorise on reasons why Jimmy was ‘keeping himself right’. Was it because he was still fatigued from the previous night’s heavy drinking session or was there another reason? Butch reckons that Jimmy was ‘under orders’ not to come in pissed to Coxhoe club. Apparently our hero has sometimes come back from an away game in a high state of inebriation and caused havoc in the club by berating one and all. Rumour has it that Mrs G and the other members of the company have made it plain that it mustn’t happen again as it was spoiling the night and Jimmy had been given a ‘final warning’. I’ll leave you to draw your own conclusion but it’s a fact that Jimmy was very quiet and didn’t have a drink on the way home.
In Coxhoe club on the night
Rumour has it that “sunderland tillI die!’ may have been in the club on the night. I wonder if that blogger might like to post a report of how Jimmy was in the club. Or perhaps Jimmy might like to add some comments? Surely he was on his best behaviour!!
Quotes of the day
A few quotes I can remember from the day
- "You're not gay now Jimmy" - Butch, on the train home
- "Little donkey" - Kenny, on the train home
- "Never again" - Jimmy, as he got into the car on the morning
- "I always knock around with them a bit before I live with them" - Abbsy
- "What time does the night do start Jimmy" - Kenny and Butch, in the car going to Durham
- "Here mate, have a look at this on my phone" - Butch, all f###ing day!
Perhaps someone else can remember a few more!
Apologies to Jimmy for making him the main focus of this posting but it was funny to see him suffering, as he's made us suffer before, and for him to have a taste of his own medicine. Here's hoping he has a better day out when he goes across to Switzerland to see England play next week and that he's refreshed for our next trip to London in December to see us play Charlton.
Postscript
Since publishing this blog another few things have come to mind, namely :-
The lad on the train on the way back, drunk as a lord, swaying down the aisle, can in hand singing "We'll win again" to the tune of "We'll meet again". He kept repeating the same line over and over again until one of the other lads said "That's the spirit, this lad isn't giving up" to which our singer said "I don't really believe it like" and fell into a drink-induced sleep.
A huge and heated argument about how to get Murray out. The gadgy (with his daughter) who was totally smashed and joined the argument but could hardly talk. Later in the journey the lad got sat next to Jimmy. Butch shouted something about "Watch the bald patch" at which point the lad started rubbing Jimmy's crown with the whole train started singing "Turn round so we can see your baldy head" (Jimmy has just emailed me this one!)
The joys of away travel - no wonder football supporters get a bad name!
posted by Billy @ 9:18 PM
5 comments
5 Comments:
Not a bad record of the day Billy. Yes I was well below par due to the nights drinking, full of cold and lack of sleep NOT that I was under orders. When I got in the house the first thing I did was spew down the bog, then it was a quick change, check the dogs were okay and down to the club - it was quite a wild night for some of the drinkers - you could tell GeoffA was away at Donny races or the committe room would have been full in two weeks time, (not me may I add)
As for Sunderland 'til I die he was either hiding in the corner away from the jollies or was also at the races. Had about six pints to pull me round finished on a whiskey for good measure. Still suffering from the cold I got a week ago but looking forward to the England game on Saturday.
I think it must have been the chinese fish and chips that knacked you Jimmy. The batter was luminous yellow and obviously full of additives
Glad to hear you enjoyed the club and managed to sink a few pints.
Somehow I think the 'real' Jimmy will be back for Charlton ..... then it's us that'll have to watch out!
Will "sunderland tillI die!" be on the bus next week I wonder? Will he be doing the domino card?
Top post Billy.
The most entertaining post that football seemed to pass bye completely.
Jimmy,like a fine Glenfiddich, maturing with age.
Aye Jack, the game was incidental. I've usually enjoyed going to Highbury but this time we were in the corner under the stand and the view was atrocious. It really spoiled the game. That and the fact that we were never at the races.
As for Jimmy being like Glenfiddich - I think too much Glenfiddich the previous night led to his downfall! He's a good sport and a canny lad but this time he was the fall guy - I'm sure he'll get us back!
What else can i say??! not Enough words for me to say how good it was. Smashing POST Billy
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