West Ham away day

Part 1

What a day! Best way to describe it is as a diary of the day as the events unfolded so let’s start at the beginning and work through to the triumphant end.

As I was off work Julie took the opportunity to go in early and gain some flexi so it was my job to see the boys off to school. After a few grumbles I got them organised and out the door on time and sat back to wait for Jimmy who arrived just before 9 with Steve Walton and young David in the back. Jim has set the GPS routefinder for Boleyn Road, East London so off we set on our West Ham awayday adventure.

We made good progress and passed Ferrybridge using the new bypass and got onto the A1. Big Jeff from Trimdon had told Jim about a good café for breakfast so we were on the lookout for Katie’s Kitchen. Anybody who’s knows Jeff will quickly surmise that he’s a man who knows what he’s talking about when it comes to food and so it proved. We arrived at the café at 11:20 and emerged 40 mins later each having had a £5 ‘bellybuster’ breakfast. This was certainly no ‘greasy spoon’ transport café, it had previously been a Little Chef and was nicely appointed and the food was excellent so top marks to Jeff for his recommendation. We set off at about 12 o’clock having had a bit crack in the café with some Yorkshiremen (Leeds supporters) who were on their way to Newmarket races. They wished us luck and lamented that Leeds had a long way to go to get back into the big time. One of them had a 1972 centenary cup final shirt on so we reminded him that the one the year after was better! Back into the car and next stop ‘the smoke’.

At about 1 o’clock we left the motorway and joined the North Circular and were soon on Romford Road in the heart of the East End of our nation’s capital. However, the most striking feature of the Romford Road was the proliferation of people from OTHER NATION’S CAPITALS – the place was absolutely heaving with people of mixed nationalities with very few indigenous cockneys to be seen. The place was teeming with turbans, rasta’s, saris shops by the dozen, shops with squiggly writing which we could not decipher, women in full Muslim regalia etc etc and not a pearly king or queen to be seen. Steve Walton’s eyes were popping (remember Steve comes from Kella, that tightly knit, if slightly inbred, community where a foreigner is someone who comes from Quarrington Hill) so the sight of so many ‘commonwealth cousins’ had Steve huffing and puffing “I didn’t think it would be like this marra”. It really was an eye-opener, even more so when coming towards us was a funeral procession led by a brass band playing honky tonk music followed by a horse drawn hearse and a long line of mourners. It was reminiscent of the voodoo funeral procession in 'Diamonds are Forever'. We were all gob smacked, a little bit of the Caribbean in London. Jim’s routefinder took us down Green Road and straight to a car park about 200 yards from Upton Park. Although the sun was shining and it felt warm to us (being tough Northerners) the ‘locals’ seemed to be feeling the cold more and most had their big coats on. We parked the car and went to the tube station which was only 5 minutes walk away and got a train to Mile End which was only a few stops away. Last year we went to a pub about 50 yards from Mile end tube station called ‘The Matter of Time’ and that was our destination again. Young David seemed a bit nervous on the train but was enjoying his first trip to London. We got to the pub about 2 o’clock and Jimmy blagged a paper and we sat outside soaking up the sun and people-watching. Jimmy summoned the manager, an Irish Lad, and asked him about the properties across the road, in particular a burnout building. Remember that this is the East End, not fashionable Chelsea or Belgravia, but our ‘gobs were smacked’ once more (fortunately, figuratively speaking this time, not like in Leicester Jimmy!) when he told us the burnt out shell had been sold for £300 - £400k and the other terraced houses went for £750k.

As the afternoon wore on other Sunderland supporters drifted in to the pub including Jane and her friend. Jane goes to most, if not all, the away games and we’ve met her before on the train. She’s a friend of Billy senior’s and recently he was telling us that she’s always texting him and that they are quite pally. Well ….. that’s not exactly the version Jane gave us when we enquired if Kenny had been in touch lately. Words like ‘text pest’ were used, creating the impression that they are perhaps not as close as Kenny led us to believe. I think Jimmy is maybe going to take Kenny to task on this next time he sees him as he had given us the impression that Jane had been the instigator.

A couple more pints and then the swimming baths turned out. Well at least that’s what it looked like. Hundreds of young girls wearing blue smocks and with what looked like towels on their heads came along the road. Jimmy was adamant that it was the swimming baths but a couple of English girls in normal school uniform came along to meet their parents outside the pub and some of the ‘swimmers’ were waving to them so perhaps it was just the school turning out. Next into the ‘beer garden’ came four young mums with their offspring in pushchairs. I think they were perhaps part of an extended family. Going off their looks and accents all the girls were of English cockney descent but all the little ones definitely had a ’touch of the tarbrush’. No dads were in evidence, perhaps they were ‘down the arches’ or ‘up the market’ earning a crust. Nothing very upmarket about their spouses though – a right set of charvesses. Remember Waynetta Slob castigating Wayne that she wanted a ‘braaan baby like the other mums daaaan the precinct’? Well these girls were ‘living that dream’ and had all got themselves a 'braaan baby'.

Another couple of anecdotes from the pub then I’ll move on. Mid afternoon a stunning little black barmaid came on duty. Although petite she was certainly very shapely. We sent Jimmy in to get the drinks so he could see her but as soon as he went to the bar she started collecting glasses - was it something he said? As we were getting ready to leave another stunning black girl came in. This one was very tall and slim with legs which seemed to go all the way up to her armpits. She was wearing a very skimpy white outfit, a very short skirt and a matching cowboy hat. She seemed to know some of the others in the pub and sat with them chatting, but kept crossing and uncrossing her lags in a very distracting manner; at least it was distracting the Mackem lad sat across the table who was trying to read his newspaper but was going cross-eyed! Soon she received a phone call and a big car pulled up and she jumped in and was whisked away but half an hour later she was back and rejoined her mates. Wonder where she’d been? Perhaps she’d just popped home to check on her grandparents? She looked the type of girl who would be kind to elderly gentleman. Anyway, that’s all for know. Time for a breather then I’ll be back on with an account of the game.


West Ham - part 2

Here we go again.

We left the pub at about 6:15 and got back on the tube for Upton Park. After a short journey we arrived and whilst Jimmy and David went to check on the car Steve and I went to the fish and chip shop Abbsy and I found last year. Got talking to a West Ham supporter in the queue, an Irishman (are there any English people left in London?) who was at the game with his young son who was a Man Utd supporter (sounds familiar!). The fish and chips were lovely and we ate them as we made our way to the ground. All day I’d had a good feeling about this game which is unusual for me as I’m usually superstitiously pessimistic but I still felt confident. Got into the ground and the place was already buzzing with ¾ of an hour still to go to KO. Saw a few people I know, including Clive and the Sedgefield lot who were stopping for the weekend. Pre-match entertainment was provided by the lovely Hammerettes (http://www.hammerettes.com/)and before we knew it the teams were coming out for the game. I won’t go into too many details of the game itself as there are plenty of reports elsewhere but what I will say is that the atmosphere was magical and special. Under Mick McCarthy the club has regained pride and a sense of togetherness. I remember being at Birmingham two years ago when we were relegated and turning round at the end of the game to see big Clive Dent blubbering like a baby with tears in his eyes. As that season wore on it was inevitable that we were going to get relegated but when it came it was still a blow and a humiliation, especially as we ended the season with all those defeats and only 19 points. Clive was sitting in front of me last night and he was absolutely joyous, as we all were. Nights like last night help make up for times like Birmingham two seasons ago. I was sat next to Christine on one side and Steve Walton on the other so when we scored I opted for a nice hug from Christine! As the game finished the crowd erupted and the players came across to join in the celebrations. They looked genuinely happy, unlike some of the ‘big-timers’ who were here when we got relegated, and it’s great to know that some of those lads on the pitch had won a medal and were heading for the Premiership whereas a couple of seasons ago they were lower league players. Let’s hope they can all prosper in the Premiership.

The Sunderland crowd stayed back to cheer the players as they left the pitch whilst the WH crowd trooped dejectedly away. Been there, done that, but you have to have some sympathy for them. They came down with us and now look unlikely to make the play-offs so some big issues ahead for them but they’ll have to sort them out, just like we had to. Anyway, back to SAFC. As we left the ground we were ‘over the moon’ and in high spirits as we made our way back to the car. The whole area was well policed but there was no trouble that I saw, I think the WH supporters were too dispirited. We decided to let the traffic clear before we left and Jimmy went in for some more fish and chips. We went up to where we had the car parked which was overlooking the street and watched the crowds dissipate. It was very peaceful up there at the top level of the car park and somehow quite relaxing and uplifting after all the hubbub. Jimmy set the navigator for Coxhoe and we set off back down the same streets we had come through earlier in the day. If anything it looked more dismal than it had during the day and we were glad to get onto the M11 and away. London – you can keep it as far as I’m concerned, OK for a visit but would hate to live there. Nothing to do with the high % of coloured people (although I must admit that the majority we saw seemed unwilling to adopt the English culture and dress) but just too busy and congested for us Northern boys. I suppose all the different nationalities contribute to ‘life’s rich tapestry’ and form the melting pot which is London but it wouldn’t suit me and I can easily see how racial and cultural tensions can arise in such a situation. Social rant over!

Roads were quiet on the way back once we’d cleared London and we made good progress getting home for 2:30. As we sped through the night with the radio tuned in to various night-time ‘easy listening’ stations it was a great feeling to know that we were Champions although I must admit I slept most of the way as it had been an exhausting and emotional day. For once I didn’t have a blinding headache even though we’d had 7 pints at the pub. I’d had plenty of water to drink during the day but I think it’s also the tension which causes the headaches and I was much more relaxed yesterday. Overall a great day out in good company and a few laughs along the way with a Championship at the end of it. What more can a man ask for! Roll on next Sunday when we get presented with the trophy and have the final phase of our promotion party.

Finally a big, big thank you to Jimmy for doing the driving. Much appreciated Jim – top man.

Phew - I'm finished for now. I'll add some more if anything else comes back to me but I'll give Jimmy a chance to interject with his own comments or if I've missed anything. Some great postings also from those who didn't manage to get go the match. Well done lads, I can see you were also passionate and that it means a lot to you too. It's now just past half time so I'll quit now and off to watch the scores come in. Mags currently 0-0 at home to Palace so the weekend just keeps getting better!!