FFS bribes Big Sam with local mag lass!

Courtesy of RTG

http://www.readytogo.net/smb/showthread.php?t=230278

Least diplomatic chant of the year:

"He shoots, he scores, he eats your Labradors - Ji-sung Park",

Manchester United fans on their South Korean.

The BSA Song

To the tune of "My Old Mans a Dustman"

Big Sam is Conman
He wears a crooked hat
He went to scum united
He got bung for that
He'll take one from an agent
The BBC were right
And he never went to Engalnd
Cos the envelope was light!!

OOOOOHHHHH

FTM

The Thoughts of a Branch Secretary on Cloud Nine

Well who would have thought or even predicted where we would have ended up at the end of the season?
We started with optimism as Bob "Mr Sunderland" Murray had departed his throne and Niall and his consortium had moved in, but the big question was who would be the manager? As the consortium was mostly of Irish nationality we all expected Martin O'Neil to walk in and be our saviour. When I was in Germany with Miller watching the World Cup I remember Miller telling everyone O'Neil was the man and that he had SAFC tattooed on his arse. Then there was Big Sam in the frame but Bolton insisted he would not drop down to a smaller club (is he not going to do that now!). With no real movement on the management front Niall announces that he will take the helm until the right person comes along. I think we all agreed that Niall was taking alot on and this proved correct as we struggled to win and get the "we will never win" mentality from the minds of the players. After the game against Bury we were all low and some questioning why they had renewed their season tickets. Then a master stroke happened - Niall made a call to the person that un-known to all of us was the consortiums first choice as manager of our club. The story was that he was contacted and made aware that if he didn't take the job now Quinny would have a heart attack. His reply was "Oh I 'll make him wait another 24 hours". So 24 hours after our defeat against Bury it was announced that Roy Keane was to be the new manager of SAFC. We were on every TV station, in all the newspaper headlines - Sunderland were back - well at least in the news for the right reasons.
Just by his presence in the stand we beat WBA and we all thought this was the turning point. New faces appeared - one of them being Graham Kavanagh who I thought should have been a target before he went to Wigan. Keano officially took over for the Derby game and we secured a win there and then trounced the once mighty Leeds - we played brilliant at Leeds and I thought this is it we have gone through the change mentally and would at least be in the top half or even reach the play-offs by the end of the season. Then bad results against Ipswich, Preston, Stoke and Cardiff started everyone thinking we would only make the top half and next season we would be a stronger force and get promoted. I remember thinking at this time Keano had not brought the fans back as we were still struggling to fill a 33 seater coach and one trip back from a home game Thomas and the constant moaner on the coach Steph were saying they had doubts over Keanes management ability. Keano started to show the exit door to some players that did not follow his ethos and were not showing pride in wearing the shirt. We then saw a phone video of a few of the players giving more energy to a young girl than they had done on the pitch all season - wankers the lot of them and as predicted they were shown the door very quickly.
2007 started better - good signings and loans got us to a great start - who would have thought we would have remained un-beaten for so long in 2007? Against WBA, Birmingham, Wolves and Southampton we showed we were back and looking for that play-off place .... or even better!
So we were beaten by Colchester - probably the one we feared the most if we were all honest, but we went on to secure wins against Burnley and Luton and entry into the promised land was made and as Champions. What a season and what highs and lows during a season that started with so little but finished with so much.
The highs for me was the players, staff and management giving us our pride back and showing again that SAFC are the caring club. The away support was fantastic all season I believe we played better away from home when the pressure was not as intense as the atmosphere at home. Finally a high was the branch performance we started to struggle with low attendance sometimes below 33 on a small seater coach to finally having a near full 51 seater coach for the last few matches. At the end of the seaon we did not have to dip into our bank account and I believe we are in a better picture now than we were at the end of last season.
Only one low for the season was the sad and sudden loss of one of our branch OAP's a loyal supporter to the branch and SAFC, Tommy Mitton. May he still be watching the lads from above and is smiling and having a half of beer to celebrate our promotion. God bless you Tommy you will always be remembered by the branch.
So what does the future hold as we enter again the promised land? We will be associated with everyone from Keanos past as transfer targets. I hope we can secure the services of the two loans from Man.Utd, Evans and Simpson they must either be on board next year as loans or as SAFC players, a goalkeeper and we also need a front man of consistent goal scoring ability, sorry I can't predict who we should get but I am sure that the plans have started and we should leave the building of our club to Quinny, Keano and the consortium after all they have not done a bad job so far.
As I sit down to watch the first play-off game today, I do hope that Derby can make it as they also deserve it but as we all know football is a funny old game; as an outside bet I also would watch Southampton as on a good day they can do well.
I have also looked at the Premiership and who may be left after tomorrows final games. I went through the list to see what away games and the prices of the ones I would like to attend. After doing this I realised I had ticked off all the teams in the Premiership so I hope Mrs G and my bank manager is understanding as we seek better things to come. Am I mad to do this next season or is it just a fact that I am a loyal and proud Mackem who has SAFC running through my veins?

May I wish all of you a good summer and look forward to seeing you all aboard our coach next season. H'away the Lads!

Regards

Jim Gilling
Branch Secretary

Luton trip report part 1 - The journey down and afternoon drinks

I loaded my luggage and 12 bottles of water into the car then set off for the first pickup which was Billy at 12am. Billy had phoned me from Heathrow the night before to check that I’d picked up the tickets. He’d had a busy week away in Turkey and had arrived back home late on the Friday night and was a bit under the weather, not from high living but from a bug he’d had since Easter and was having trouble shaking off. We set off for Kelloe and Cousin Billy and Billy Senior were ready and waiting. We hit the motorway at 12:20 and had a leisurely drive down to Leicester, listening to the Man Utd game on the radio. We arrived and checked in to the hotel, dropped our bags off and made our way to the pub next door, just in time to catch the half-times. West Ham 3 Bolton 0!

This is the same pub as Billy and Billy Senior were slavering on to the barman a previous time we were down (the time of the famous chinning incident). Fortunately the pub has changed ownership since then (was it something they said?) and Billy has become friends with the new landlord who’s a Villa supporter but was away at the game. We had a bet on a televised race but none of us could pick the winner (although Billy Senior wondered why he had not picked the winner – Beaver Patrol!) then Billy took me into the casino and got me made a member for the night. We came back into the pub and watched the full times come in. It was great seeing all the Mags trooping out of Sid James before the final whistle with their grumpy faces. The Miller men then came in and we had a bit crack with them and another couple of pints. It was then nearly 6 o’clock and time for our Chinese buffet.

Billy had booked us into a Chinese buffet for 6 o’clock and he promised it was going to be a very good. BTW, what a location the hotel has - pubs, casino and restaurants all within 50 yards! As promised the Chinese buffet was excellent. It cost a bit more than the usual buffet but the selection and quality was fantastic. After about an hour we emerged, stuffed with sushi, prawns, salmon crispy duck etc etc and made our way back to the hotel to get changed for the night out.

Luton trip report part 2 - Night out in Leicester

We walked the 20 yards back to the hotel and went to our rooms. Fortunately I was in the room with Cousin Billy. Billy Senior and Billy were in the other room so I didn’t have to put up with Billy singing “Tell Billy I love him” in the shower. Last year Billy wanted to show me his ‘soap on a rope” but this year Cousin Billy had “soap in a tin” which was very good. We had our showers then had a bit of a rest to help digest our buffet. Soon it was time to get ready and we met the others in Weatherspoons. We were a little bit late as we were watching the end of a frame in the snooker - by the time we got there Billy Senior and Billy were onto their second bottle of wine and were looking well pissed. We had a drink whilst they finished off their wine then set away down the street in search of adventure. We visited a few bars and had a few more drinks but along the way we lost Billy Senior who wandered off somewhere (in search of *****?). As the evening wore on there were big queues at the best places so we jumped in a taxi and headed back to the hotel and casino.
In the casino I had a walk around watching what was going on and Cousin Billy and Billy sat down at the roulette. I soon found a quiet table and invested £40 in 8 £5 chips and had a few hands of blackjack. I ended up playing for about an hour and ended up £20 down. Billy was the same but Cousin Billy was £70 up. We’d had enough by now so went back to the hotel. Billy opened the door to his room and there was Billy Senior, spread-eagled on the bed! He muttered something incoherent but soon slumped back into a deep sleep so we left Billy to tuck him in and went to our own room and straight to bed, Cousin Billy on the sofa bed and me in the double. We had a good nights sleep and woke up about 7:30. Cousin Billy made a nice cup of coffee and we then got ready and packed. We’d arranged to meet the others in the foyer. When we got downstairs Billy was at the counter making a complaint. He was telling the manager that during the night some lads had broken into their room and were threatening them with all sorts of violence etc. Billy was describing them (one tall skinny lad, a little ‘un and another with black hair) and the manager was taking it all very seriously and taking down all the details. After Billy has finished I asked him what had happened as it sounded serious. He told me not to worry, it was only Miller and his mates who’d got their room keys and come into the room when they’d come back at 2:30!. Billy was ‘trying it on’ to see if he could get a refund!!

The four Billy’s gathered in the foyer and made our way up the street on the lookout for some breakfast.

Luton trip report part 3 - The match and other stuff

We didn’t have far to go for breakfast! Just as we were passing Weatherspoons on the corner the doors opened for business. It was only 9 o’clock but apparently they open at that time every day. We trooped in and ordered an excellent breakfast for £3.50. As we waited for it to come Billy told us about Billy Seniors ‘antics’ the previous night. Billy said he’d just got Billy Senior “settled” when the Miller gang burst in. Billy Senior then went a bit ‘delirious’ and was rambling on about all sorts of things including how great their Peter was and how he was going to punch the Yorkshireman’s lights out. Billy said it took a while to get Billy Senior settled again but he didn’t get much sleep as Billy Senior fell out of bed twice and then proceeded to snore like a bastard for the rest of the night. Billy was looking pretty knackered through lack of sleep but Billy Senior looked fine and was soon cracking on with his new mate Bernard. He even bought Bernard a pint. By this time the place was filling up a bit, mainly with middle-aged blokes who were enjoying a pint with their bacon and eggs. The Miller gang turned up and were a bit shocked that Billy had reported them to the management but nothing was said as they left the hotel so they reckon they must have got away with it.

Soon it was time to go so we hit the road in convoy, off down the M1 to Luton. On the way down I put on a Beatles CD and we were soon belting out the tunes with the best reserved for “Hey Jude/Keano”. We soon reached the Luton turn off and headed for the town centre. What a multi-cultural and diverse place it is i.e full of Paki's. We headed for the station car park but this turned out to be a mistake as it was quite a distance from the ground. Never mind, we set off for the ground and after a bit of a trek reached the away end and went in. Kenilworth Road is a throwback to another era and was definitely 'third division' but we settled down into our seats, other than Billy senior who was trying to chat up the muslim lady steward, and waited for the teams to come out. A lot has already been written about the game so I'll be brief. The game was fantastic and the lads put up a great performance. The celebrations afterwards were on a par with anything we've ever had before. After it had all finished we made our weary way back to the car and Billy expertly navigated us onto the M1. As soon as we were on the motorway Billy slumped into a deep sleep, perhaps due to his lack of kip the night before. The other Billy's in the back were quiet also and were soon dangling from the seats belts. After a 3 1/2 hour drive we arrived home safely after a very enjoyable weekend.

We're on our way, we're on our way, to the Premiership we're on our way.

Champions - and well deserved

Dear Coxhoe Branch,
We enjoyed it.
It was important that we performed in front of the fans and we got off to a great start - I wish we had done it a few more times this season.
It's always nice to look back and say you were champions and now we get ready for the next challenge.
We always encourage the players to play with freedom, they did today and everyone deserves a lot of credit.
It's a really nice way to finish - Sunderland champions has a nice ring to it. We would have been kicking ourselves if we had not won and Birmingham had slipped up.
The lads should enjoy it, you do not get too many chances to enjoy days like this.
There's a happy dressing room in there and I'm delighted for everyone - I've had worse days.
I'll reflect over the next week or so. Since I got the job, I always said that the chance to reflect would be at the end of the season.
You pat yourself on the back but you have to move on to the next challenge. The players have been fantastic and I can't praise them enough.
Times like this are why we are in the game. The five goals we got were cracking goals. We played with great freedom, they didn't take their foot off the gas.
It was important that we finished on a high and they did that, it was a great day for everyone.
It's nice for the players to move on to the next challenge now and go to the Chelseas, the Liverpools, the Tottenhams and the Newcastles - let's see what they can do there.
Thanks for your great support this season - the fans have played a huge part.
All the best,
Roy Keane
Luton 0 Sunderland 5Click here to visit the safc.com Match Centre.
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